I was thinking today, that with another year of this journey behind me, that I've learned some pretty important things along the way.. and I decided to jot a few down..
Welcome to a glimpse of my journey thus far..
I've learned that life truly isn't fair.. it's a messed up place where rules are broken, promises aren't kept and forever is whatever you want it to be. It can be break your heart, bend you, mangle you, and break you in half.. but it also contains some of the sweetest things you've ever known.
I've learned that optimism and pessimism are twins! it's all in the wording... seriously!
I've learned that no matter how much you complain.. the toilet seat will still always be up when you don't turn the light on, the toothpaste lid will always be left off and the world doesn't stop when you feel too bad to go out and play.
I've learned that some people just get off on making you cry.
I've learned that you CAN be loved for all the wrong reasons..
I've learned that people are more than their social standing, income, and appearance, actually, I've always known to look past all of that.. but some people still need reminding.
I've learned that I don't fear my own death.
I've learned that a hug from my kids can make a god-awful day... livable.
I've learned that forgiveness doesn't always happen.. even when it's all you ever wanted... and I've learned that forgiving someone doesn't mean forgetting what happened.. but rather that you can see past what happened..
And giving someone the gift of your forgiveness doesn't mean that you are weak.. but that you are strong enough to say "F*ck it! I still love you and that's all that matters!"
I've learned that you can always go home (figuratively speaking) .. but they don't have to accept you back. And you can scream you are sorry, but no one has to accept your apology... even when it's the most heart felt apology you've ever felt.
I've learned that one size doesn't fit all and who ever came up with that is a liar or either a moron!
(they were certainly never tall!)
I've learned that the past that we hide from, isn't so scary after all.
I've learned that "better late than never".. is just a quote! Sometimes it's "better to never than to be late".
I've learned that you can be completely honest.. but don't expect anyone else to play by the rules.
I've learned that worrying is killing me.. slowly
I've learned that "never mind" pisses me off and that when I feel I have to beg for an answer to my question that I feel my worth nose dive.
I've learned that I'm looking for comfort when I search for what's familiar.. old friends, favorite foods, worn out jeans.. feels like heaven when you feel lost otherwise.
I've learned that fear can take away the chance to really live.
I've learned that I love noise! it reminds me that I'm still alive!
I've learned that I really enjoy spending the evening out on my front deck looking at stars.. more than going anywhere.
I've learned to not fear time, but to respect it.
I've learned that Tomorrow doesn't mean things are going to be better.. sometimes ........ MOST times... it's the same day that you had yesterday..
I've learned that no matter who tells you how much they care.. you are really on your own.. company doesn't mean that you aren't alone.. and being alone ain't so bad.
I've learned that "some assembly require" translates into "forget it! I can get one already put together at a garage sale!"
I've learned that life (all life) is precious and fragile and in an instant it can be gone... without warning.
I've learned that one smile can make you feel like breathing again, Even if you have to make your own smile.. or make your own self laugh.
I've learned how to love.. maybe I've always known how, I just didn't know to show it until I found a reason to.
I've learned that life can change in a heartbeat.. and never be the same again.
I've learned that some people are just mean and heartless.
I've learned how to smile when I want nothing more than to cry my heart out.
I've learned that the sweetest things in life are easy to find.. while everyone else is looking for the big and extraordinary stuff.. they over look what is there in front of them... there are no signs with arrows saying "I'm worth your time!" pointing them out
I've learned that my dog will always love me more than anyone else.
I've learned to see beauty with my heart.. sometimes true beauty hides from the eyes but always illuminates the heart.
I've learned that people judge when they are scared they are being judged.
I've learned that a sense of humor will take you further than the most well thought out, over analyzed, well processed, educated, estimated, knowledgeable words can.
I've learned that my mom can still make me feel better than anyone else in the world.. just by saying she loves me more than anyone else can .. and I believe her!
*points to dog* and of course.... him!
I've learned that some dreams are better left alone, because if they were reality, it would be a nightmare.
I've learned to take life less serious and to take time to laugh.. and if you can share your humor with anyone.. do it!
I've learned the most beautiful music I've ever heard is the sound of laughter.
I've learned that silence scares me.
I've learned that I won't die if I don't get my way.
I've learned to stand up for myself and how to say NO.. and it only took me 44 years to learn that the world doesn't blow up when I do it!
I've learned that the most valuable and precious thing that you can give another living human is your trust.. and it's also the hardest thing you've ever given away.
I've learned that no matter when you get in the shower.. the phone is going to ring.. especially, when you are home alone.
I've learned that when you have hurt someone so bad that they can't talk to you.. that they wouldn't be so hurt if they didn't love you.
I've learned that only a idiot won't ask for what they want.
I've learned that regret and "what ifs" follow you wherever you go, it's better to deal with them.. because they can out run ya every single time!
I've learned that me and alcohol don't mix well.
I'm learning (against my will) to let go to what I want to hold.. and to hold onto what I want to let go of.
I'm learning that giving up isn't always a bad thing.
I'm learning that no one can control your thoughts or dreams... those are yours!
I'm learning that I can apply all my makeup at one certain red light in town.
I'm mastering the art of listening... with my heart
I've learned that only a true friend knows that when I am laughing the hardest... that I'm hurting the most.
I've learned that if I look at someone else's' mistakes through my own .. that I can see better at that angle.
I've learned that you can grow up and you don't have to be boring and dull.
I'm learning that I am OK with not being perfect...and some imperfections just make life a little more interesting.
I'm learning that at 4am I am more poetic and more apt to open up my heart and let it flow out into words.
I've learned that crying just feels good.. when nothing else does.
I'm learning that you can love someone without being able to tell them why.
I've learned that it bothers me when someone doesn't like me.
I've learned to find myself in songs.. using someone else's words feels amazing when you can't put how you feel into words of your own.
I've learned that if you want to scream.. wait till you are where no one else can hear you.
I've learned that there are worse things than being thought to be crazy.
I've learned that opinions are someone's idea of a solution.. just smile and they will stop.... sometimes.
The list grows daily...